52 not out

Another birthday has been and gone. Another year chalked off and another year to look forward to. I had some very good presents – posh toiletries, lots of books, the usual things that 50-somethings get  – and a night away in Boot, in Eskdale in the Lake District. Thank you to everyone!

We stayed at The Boot Inn, in the village of Boot. We have stayed there before, as a break on a journey to Scotland about 5 years ago, and it’s unusual to be able to get just one night in the Lakes at a weekend. However, they will let rooms on that basis and very welcome it was too. It’s a decent place to stay, but was extremely hot, being at the end of a heatwave, with temperatures up to 30C. The food was good (best black pudding I have ever eaten) and the beer was local. Very good value for money too, so highly recommended.

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We took the opportunity to visit some towns on the coast that we haven’t properly been to before. Ravenglass is very attractive. Whitehaven and Workington maybe less so, but interesting nonetheless. Cockermouth is a lovely little town now that it has dried out from the floods of a few years ago – the sort of place that you wouldn’t mind living. Home after a picnic under a tree at Watendlath.

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And now, I realise that another three months have gone by and it’s time to pay a visit to the hospital. Friday morning. As I have said before I am a bit disappointed that I have to start a relationship with a new consultant, and I am obviously hoping that I do not have to see the locum, who could easily change again by the next time I see them. However, I should count myself lucky. It appears that if I were at the Christies in Manchester, I would be seeing a different consultant or specialist every time, so as not to only be seen by one person.

I suppose this does have the advantage of getting a “second opinion” each time you pay them a visit, but I do think that I have benefited from being in the care of just one person for these last four years. Let’s see what Friday brings – I always have choices I can take after this consultation.

I have been getting tired recently and occasionally I can feel the nodes in my neck, particularly after a couple of drinks. When I was first diagnosed, a bottle of Peroni beer would make itself known in my neck within half an hour (wine wouldn’t, for some reason). I’m just hoping that this doesn’t mean that the second half of 2013 is going to go the same way as the second half of 2009… you can read for yourselves where that led to and I am hoping to have a few more years yet before opening up that particular door again.

Whatever – there’s nothing that I can do about it and I must cherish what I have, rather than what I can’t have. Be satisfied with my lot and enjoy the moment.

And I am. I try to make the best of every day and every opportunity that comes along, but it’s very difficult sometimes. But I had a bad weekend a couple of weekends ago, where I was over-thinking things and feeling very sorry for myself. Sometimes you need weekends like that just so that those kind of feelings don’t come to the surface too often – get them all out and over and done with. Until the next time.

I wonder what happened to the research that the psychiatrist was doing a few months ago. I never did hear anything else.